Autism In Real Life

Episode 12: Doing it all by myself

January 03, 2022 Ilia Walsh Season 1 Episode 12
Autism In Real Life
Episode 12: Doing it all by myself

Hello, and welcome to the autism in real life podcast. In each episode, you'll get practical strategies by taking your journey into the joys and challenges of life with autism. I'm your host, Ilia Walsh, and I'm an educator and the parent of two young adults, one of which is on the autism spectrum. Join me as I share my experience and the experiences of others. So that we may see the unique gifts and talents of individuals on the autism spectrum, fully recognized.

Hello, everyone, and welcome. This is Ilia and Happy New Year. I welcome you back. And, you know, wishing you a wonderful new start to the beginning of the year. And I came across some information over the last couple of weeks, and particularly an article, and I wanted to share some tidbits in in there for you. Because I think it's a really great way to think about the new year, I think when it's time for new resolutions and, you know, wanting to make new starts. And all of these goals that we set for ourselves, oftentimes at this time of year, I wanted to offer a different perspective on that. And I read an article in elephant journal. And what caught my attention was in the article is called the do it all myself mentality that's born from trauma and feeling unworthy. And it's an article from November 8 2020. and written by Jennifer Bower, I will put the link in the description so that you have that to check out if you'd like. But I found that I really resonated with the title for you know, if you've been listening in, you know that those are some areas that I've talked about before, but also just really thinking about this, do it all myself. And that's something that I've kind of always struggled with, you know, it was just, I'll do it, I'll do it. Yes, saying a lot of yes to things that I wasn't quite sure how maybe I would do it, but somehow managed to figure out how to make it all happen. But at a great expense to myself. And so, you know, one of the things that she talks about in the article is being praised by society for having a strong work ethic and for being, you know, fiercely independent, and that we look to those things. Now, of course, if you've been listening in, you know, I've talked about that being a very specifically Western kind of culture way of thinking. But, you know, I think it also can really do us a disservice, it can be a great service, when we're trying to start a business trying to start jobs, trying to find a job in school, like all sorts of places are, is it a very, you know, do we really value those things, but should it be to our detriment? I don't think so. And so, you know, one of the things that, you know, she poses here is, let's think about a new way to work, right. And in this habit of having a strong work ethic, and being, you know, tenacious, and our independence, and list making and making lots of plans, you know, is a habit born from feeling unworthy, and we, we then tend to feel a little guilty, if we aren't doing anything that's quote, you know, not productive, or we might say that, Oh, I'm being unproductive, or I didn't do anything today. And then we feel some guilt or shame around that. And, you know, instead really thinking about, well, why, why do I feel that way? And why is it that I feel if I do more work, that somehow I'm more worthy of an I'm we could probably fill in the blank there with a lot of things more worthy of love more worthy of attention, more worthy of, you know, a promotion or more worthy of, you know, money, you know, if that's what you're looking for, you know, so I think that we need to assess that and unpack that a little bit in ourselves, but also thinking about what feels good in your body and What kind of sensations are you noticing, when we kind of step into this, do it all myself, I need to go go go. And then we feel restless when we stop and pause for a minute, and really just kind of notice those sensations and maybe recognize why we might be feeling them. And, you know, I would think about, you know, if we think about changing that narrative first in ourselves, we can also be present than for other people to maybe change their paradigm and maybe change their narrative. So, you know, maybe being a little bit more fluid in, you know, kind of taking on what happens. And as, as you know, I've had a lot of change in this last year, and some of it Yes, requires planning, and, and a lot of stick to itiveness, as they say, but a lot of it was born out of just being fluid, and seeing what, what came and what changes come. And then kind of riding the wave instead of trying to, you know, go against the wave, and I think are being tossed around, by the way, that's the other piece. So, you know, if we can kind of think differently and pause, and let it be okay to rest.

You know, I think, you know, one quote from here is, that I find really resonates is we need to redefine rest, as anything that changes, our energetic batteries. And, you know, kind of refills them, and we've talked about recharging before and filling up your stores. And, you know, practice it often. And not just when we're exhausted, you know, we have to do micro steps all the time, so that we can restore those energetic stores or batteries, as she mentioned here in this article. So with that said, I hope that all of you have a wonderful beginning of your new year. And we we bring in 2020 with a new mindset and a new perspective. And as I mentioned before, new content coming, new collaborations coming. And just to let you know, I'm very grateful and appreciative to all of the listeners here, we have close to 24,000 downloads in under, you know, only a year and a half, really. And we also have, we have spread in 88 countries. So I thank you all for that. You're all part of that. Thank you for those of you who share this content. And if you like what you're listening to please please share it with others. And I will bring you more information on all of the new, wonderful things happening. And check out the new website and check out the social media and look at all the fresh work that's been done there too. And thank you to all of you who have helped me with that. So thank you so much for being with me today, and I'll talk to you soon. Take care. Thanks for listening to autism in real life. This is Ilia Walsh and if you like the show, please hit subscribe so you can get notified each time a new episode is released. You can also join my email list to get more information on the podcast, receive blog posts, and my newsletter. If you have suggested topics for the podcast or would like to be a guest, please reach me on social media or through my contact page. Talk to you next time.

Reference Article: The Do It All Myself Mentality That's Born from Trauma and Feeling Unworthy by Jennifer Bauer

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